1. |
fleshwound
05:18
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This fear -- The fear of never being enough;
Of failing the ones we love
Shadowed by inherited guilt; by the shame you instilled
you have to kill it before this disease can spread
Breathe in and begin again
And Never let it win
Don’t drown,
steady yourself and stop your knees from shaking
wipe away the tears
I'm still here so it's not too late yet
My whole life has been spent inside this cage
sinking deeper; a fever dream that I’m not a slave
to your guilt
And I still feel the void
That you were meant to fill
All these years
A Cold hollow emptiness
In my bones
I can hear your voice
A deafening white noise
It fills every inch of space
punishing my mind
Even when you're not around
I cant let it go
Still Suffocating in the lie that the past was ever right
Forbidding any growth; I've felt worthless my whole life
And You're to blame.
What kind of fucking father does this?
I Grew up hiding who I am and The fear nearly broke me
So I Nourished only failures until they became who I am
I locked myself away
I trusted you
A headless leader who gained our trust
I learned nothing from you; I learned nothing of use;
Learned Nothing but abuse
A festering blister on my mind
Killing me slowly over time
I am destined to fail
I see you in my reflection every fucking day;
A reminder of who I'm meant to be
Blackened ash blankets every branch
Covering everything until it stifles
anything growing inside of me
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2. |
gravemind
02:20
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I always thought I was in love with the pain of falling apart
And maybe i was for a while (Maybe I was)
Sorrow so sweet, We never see the good in ourselves
Self defeat. Self induced. Self hell.
I don’t know if I can keep this going anymore
There's something so soothing in
Shutting out the light,
Watching humanity dissipate from your eyes,
and believing in betterment
You cant keep running
when the cuts deepen with every minute gone
But you can't keep fighting when you're barely holding on
Maybe there is no light at the end (Giving up isn't always giving in)
Sometimes there's no fight left within (And I'm so tired of feeling spread thin)
I need to learn to breathe again
I cant keep this up, I have to believe that better days are coming
(Better days are coming)
We cling so desperately to what we believe
and i know now that this is all I’ve ever wanted
so I fall back to sleep, fall into dreams
this is all i could ever hope to be
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3. |
lowlife
03:54
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"Deadbeat, none of this was real"
That's what she told me then spat in my eyes
"You look disgusting, take care of yourself"
How could I let this happen?
Take everyone away,
And everything I have just burn it, It's worthless now
I want you out of my head, I cant do this anymore
I've waited forever and wound up with nothing but open wounds and empty hands (empty hands)
My world collapsed in on itself, It's my fucking fault
Fucking christ, I hate myself
It feels like I'm alone yet cornered in a dark room
Fuck this
I think I'm going to be sick; I need a way out of this
My mind is my worst enemy and I think it’s turning against me
The joke has always been on me
I'm so fucking tired of everyone's face so why bother waking up?
The voice in the back of my head
Keeps telling me to push forward (Just give up)
I tried so many times to escape these nightmares
But nothing changes
Over and over this plays through my head
I cant do this but I cant leave it alone
Fuck
I'll only be remembered for the things I've done wrong
A living legacy of shit
I cant wash away this guilt
I cant wash away regret
But for once in my life, I'm right where I fucking belong
Right at the bottom
And for once in my life, I'm right where I belong
I've hit the bottom of it all
I need isolation and an open road
I need to disappear and die alone
I've nothing left to give to anyone
I've nothing left, I've nothing left
All these sleepless nights will mean something some day
All these sleepless nights
I've nothing left, I've nothing left
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4. |
suffer
02:56
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Unspeakable evil;
Watching the blood pool at your feet
(Pool in their teeth)
Their laughter blends with your cries for help in a language not of our own
Tethered to the ceiling by the ankles
You've never once known Compassion
A life of pain. A life of shame.
And Nothing will ever change.
You've begged for death from birth and never understood what you did to deserve
the agony you suffer
Never knowing the love of your mothers
Never knowing the joy in one another
It makes me sick
How the fuck can you live like this?
Biting, and clawing
Pulsing and writhing
The heat blisters
My Dead brothers and sisters
A quick thrust
and a twist of the blade
You will taste my hate
If no one has to die for you to survive.
Then Why the fuck are you doing this
Why
If no one has to suffer for you to thrive.
Why the fuck are you doing this
Why
I hope your conscience eventually eats away at you from the inside
And that you never know joy or happiness
You deserve to die
The madness and insanity
Complacent in utter cruelty
Disgusting indifference
A life of torment
No more silence
I want you to know their pain
I hope some day the tables turn and you
beg for mercy, stripped naked and robbed of dignity.
May you live forever and suffer eternally
Not one of you
deserves a shred of humanity
a waking nightmare
For the innocent
I'll never be silent
And I'll never forget them
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5. |
moonrise
05:19
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I thought of you today
and every day since the day you left me
a frail fragile shell, left hollow, burdened with innocence
Sewn together with razor wire and delicate flecks of gold
Against my better judgement to just break down,
a smile cuts across this broken barren stone
I’ll see you again soon, remember, now you're never alone
I’ll see you again soon, remember, you are never alone
You'll always be with me
On the day that you died
I separated my body from mind and found you alive
running free, in my dreams
so, selfishly, i begged for your return
you still mean everything to me
There's no comfort here, No comfort here
I want the pain to stop
there’s comfort here
to turn back the clocks
Theres no comfort here
Longing for the release of sleep
because i only see you in my dreams
every morning i wake the hurt keeps me buried
And for what it's worth
I will love you until my dying breath
I hope there’s more to this beyond death
I hope it's warm wherever you are
That there’s happiness beyond measure
And I hope you're free
I hope the flowers are all in bloom
that somehow, you remember me
Run again, run again
run forever
be free, be free
the suffering's over
Be at peace
sleep easily
be free
The suffering's over
I thought of you again today
and every day since the day you left me
And when the illness took hold
I had to watch you slowly wither away;
Your failing strength and courage
As you fought every day
Until we meet again, I won't be me again
I wish I knew that day that it was your time;
you could barely stay awake -- I should have stayed
I promise I would have stayed
(So I'll be dreaming of you)
Until we meet again
(I'll still be dreaming of you)
I wont be me again
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6. |
lockjaw
01:39
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Stand, stare in awe
If that's your heaven then send me straight to hell
We argue in circles so don't waste your breath
Spare me your poisonous filth: "Redemption"
I'm nothing if not completely empty but I found a reason to breathe
Without faith or fate.
Rage; it’s the reason these hands shake
The always open mouth borne of lies cant ever seem to die
I stand on my feet
Ill never die on my knees
I'll die an outcast before I’m branded a liar
Or preach blind faith in something higher that I cant see
And though you know this fiction is just a crutch,
yet you insist we bare the weight of consequence
I know you know
So I stare in awe
No gods no masters, you fucking lie
No man will ever imprison me or my mind
Fuck you
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7. |
gaia
04:53
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Giver of life, Of love and light
Bringer of all that is right
Locked behind her eyes
Beyond the bitter cold, you are the warmth, the glow.
The only loving home this world has ever known
No burden too grand and no weight too great to carry;
You are the fire beneath my skin
The cleansing water absolving me of sin
The only guide in the blackest night
The courage to linger when doom is near
The strength to fight when no ending is clear
And when your body began it’s self destruction
I lost a part of my existence. I lost a part of my mind.
What would I do if I lost you this time
But You held tight never easing your grip,
Until the bones in your fingers splinter and split
taking root, only to begin again.
A Selfless sacrifice -- I owe you everything
We owe you everything
I watched helplessly as your flame nearly flickered out
Remember what it's like to feel
Remember that the love was real
I fall down
Oh, you were around through the worst of me,
please I'm so helpless here
I'd drown
Please, I watch on helplessly
Things were not meant to be this way
I never want you to feel that pain again
The way you did when cruelty began
I never want to see that look on your face
Abandon the torture but never give up on this place
Feel me in your blood, take my strength, don’t give up
You deserve better than that
I watched on helplessly
Please dont give up on me
I watched on helplessly
Dont give up on me
I'm so tired of giving in to this sinking feeling.
Watching you slowly stoned to death by time;
Just waiting to feel alive
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